my dick has a lot in common with the sun
nobody likes looking directly at it?
It gives people cancer?
woAh woah woah
It rises at the crack of dawn?
it disappears at night?
direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
it needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
nobody will ever touch it?
MONKEYS in the ARCTIC?! whats next, vampires on the weekend?!
but imagine if there were dragons
you punks are all so daft
boy if you keep making these puns, we are gonna fall out
These puns are bound to cause some kind of panic at the disco
My next million dollar idea: reluctant exercise videos with people who aren’t perky.
"Just five more… I know, I kind of want to die right now too, but let’s just power through it."
"Okay, new yoga pose. It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie."
"Stretch a little deeper… it’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone."yes
Apparently kylesimmonsstache gets really excited about art.
LET’S FUCKIN TALK ABOUT ART
OH WHOA THAT’S A SWEET ASS MOTHERFUCKING CLASSICAL PAINTING BUT THEN FUCKIN LOOK AT THE DETAIL
TTHHHIIISSSSS IISSSSS AAAAA PAAAIINNNTTTIIINNNGGGG?!!?!!?!!!?!?!!! WHAT TO HECK????
FUCKIN SWEET ASS DAFT PUNK COLORED PENCILS HELLA
LOOK AT THIS AND TELL ME IT ISN’T FUCKIN RAD AS HELL
THIS LOOKS LIKE A SCENE OUT OF A MOVIE
OH SWEET LOOK AT THIS SCULPTURE RIGHT
JUST WAIT A FUCKIN MINUTE HERE
THIS IS A DRAWING MADE TO LOOK LIKE A SCULPTURE I CAN’T FUCKING
LOOK MORE SWEET ASS COLORED PENCIL DRAWINGS
NOW I’M ABOUT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY BRO BERNINI OKAY JUST TRUST ME ON THIS
ALREADY GORGEOUS RIGHT
FUCKING LOOK AT THAT LOOK AT IT I’M FUCKING
HOW DOES MARBLE LOOK LIKE GOSSAMER FABRIC HOOOOOWWWW??!!!!?
-inhuman laughter coming from a distance-
they want to go fishing but ICE
bald eagles look grumpy on their best days but this is grumpy waddling and it is amazing
he walks over to the others in the last gif like “man this lake fucking sucks”
I’ve never realized how much eagles look like they’re wearing pants.
give me liberty, or give me butts
MOTHER OF JESUS DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THE GUY WHOSE LEFT SIDE WAS CUT OFF?!?
hes all right now
do you think whoever was designing the default netflix avatar made a mistake somewhere but just sat there laughing at the result for so long that the whole design team decided to keep it
So my friend came into school one day wearing a dress that had straps and the vice principal came up to her and said “You need to either change or cover your shoulders up because it’ll distract the boys” to which she replied “Well I find boys faces distracting, do they have to cover them up?” and the vice principal said “Maybe you should focus in class more.”
If that doesn’t tell you that things are messed up, then I don’t know what does.